Getting rid of addictions for better performance

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

"I've been worse." 
That's the only line keeping me up. The silver lining. Hope that there's a way out of this block. 
I went full-time game dev over a year ago when I quit my second job. A well-paying job. Why? 
I don't have the correct answer to that. Why am I even writing this on my blog when it's supposed to be part of my diary?
I don't know. To some extent, I feel that since none of my close contacts would be reading any of this I'm free to post anything here without the fear that someone would confront me asking about the meaning of my post.
I'm in a creative block. More like I'm just procrastinating my work doing mildly productive things. Things that won't earn me anything. It's called Shallow Work. 
Thanks to Cal Newport for his book Deep Work that brought me lots of insight. Writing this post is also part of shallow work. I happen to have understood the meaning. So what's stopping me?
Addictions. That's a strong word and I mean it. It's the addictions that keep us from doing the best of the things. To reach the best of ourselves. How?
I think it's because we've been doing certain things, following certain routine for so long and out of instinct that it becomes part of our lives. We don't realise how much a bad habit could be hurting until it's either too late or someone sheds light on it.
I've spent countless hours playing video games and managed to quit that to a satisfying extent in two months. Out of which the first month was full of desperation. How? 
Just went cold turkey. And after a month when I went back to Dota 2, I just quit it after my first game and didn't pick it up for another month. I don't feel any urge to pick that game back. 
At this point, have lots of free time which I directed to reading books. Which seemed like a more productive hobby. But I still lack one thing. 
I haven't paid attention to my work as much as I should have.
Anyway, this log was to trigger some sense in my head. Which I guess it did. Gaming isn't the only addiction I have. Relationship troubles, cigarettes and time wasted on Social Networks play an equally destructive role in killing creativity and motivation. 
I did make some ground rules which I only followed partially. Like not opening social media websites for a certain time, not sharing or engaging in meaningless conversations. But I guess this is the start. 

I'll get there. And then we'll talk about ambitions.

-Abhay Singh





No comments :

Post a Comment